Woulda, coulda, shoulda, didn't, damn it !

Bah
Sun., Mon., Tue., dry .

surf on...

Kooked out on "The Reef" oh my ! !

I have mental issues, this we ALL know.
The Reef(Igor's) messes wit the brain of I and I. Friday night I went out with my friends
Pat n Dave. I caught a few inbetween wistful glances south to the reef, where it always seems to break better. That place always shakes my confidence. So last night I thought I'm going there on Saturday.
I paddled over this morning and there were only 4-5 others on the peak, all of whom I knew, Pat and Chuck are bud's.
I rode a wave on my knees,
(could NOT stand) and actually laughed it off. That in itself is rare for me, to truly laugh at myself and not feel bad. So that was cool. Did a couple other kook outs and laughed those off as well. YDD would have had a field day with me today.

Did get some nice rides however and felt REALLY good about
"The" reef session.
Gonna go back again tomorrow and do it again,
This morning, in the water at the reef, after I stood on a "nice"drop and rode, Pat shook my hand and said"welcome back".
I know exactly what he meant by that.
Thanks Pat!! It's good to be back !

surf on...

Weirdooooooooooooooooooo

I had 2 meetings at work
from 1030-5pm .....weird
Paddle out was weird
Waves were weird.
Pat and Dave were out there ,
they were weird.
Waves approaching and
disappearing under you...weird
Pat and Dave got out and split....weird
I caught a weird wave in,
waved bye and split...weird.

Conclusion
I'm weird
very freaking weird.....
Im a weird-o.
I dont care-o
surf on weirdos
weird on surfos.......

It's OK to be Gray

Gray sky never agreed with me.
It irritates my eyes.
It bugs my brain. It keeps me in.
Gray sky,for me, is a basic bummer.
However,
I am not gonna let that stop me from going.
Surfing is one activity that takes my mind off it,
and "me".
It takes my mind off everything bad, no matter how bad.
It has been a good week for me.
Ive been in the water 4 of the last 6 days.
I hurt.... I may always hurt, so what.
I'm stoked again. Practiced cross stepping most of the session until my friend Eileen showed up in the water. Nice surprise. A friend from "the past" in a way. She surfs well and chooses her words. It was good to surf with her for a bit. Waves were few between but none the less, a surf is a surf, is a surf, and I ALWAYS come out washed "clean". My goal now will be to get 200 sessions in, for the 2010 year. Work will conspire against me, but I will find a way. I have to really, as I have heard often in the last few days, that "surfers don't really make the choice, the choice is made for them." This is sooooo true !

surf on..... I think a new swell approaches.

Are things gettin better ? My board is treating me real good. A hug is in order !

Looks a little, well, it is what it is. Haha.

Got outta work VERY late.
Shoulda been out @ 4:45
Got out @ 5:30. Not a big deal unless its 70 degrees, glassy AND there is a swell.
Jammed home, shoulda brought the board(duh),
looked at the cam and dove into the wetsuit,grabbed a cup-a-joe and split.
Got there @ 6:15pm and "ran" to the water.
Got a few, not as big as Sunday for sure but conditions were GREAT ! Then on the last wave after the sun had set, I crossed stepped up the board. No flailing arms, no shuffle, had both feet equally in the last foot of the nose, for TIME.
Did a dip with a left foot extension to the end of the board and kept on it. HaHaHa all the way in.
Wife is beautiful. Life is beautiful.
God and nature are smiling on me right now.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~B E A U T I F U L ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Just EXACTLY what I needed ! ! ! ! Perfect !

Saturday morning was ok.... I didn't get many waves and, well, it was ok.
Sat.,night I dreamt of huge walls of green.Then came Sunday morning,
and it was blown out at 0700.
Made a call or two and it was described as victory at sea.
Cameras showed "kinda crappy".
Like the big little kid I am, I was outwardly disappointed. Ceilings of grayness were there all morning into early afternoon, this depressed me.
THEN...as promised,Dave called and said" looks pretty good, little texture and shoulder high stuff". After some grumbling, I asked Jason to go with me and of course he says sure.
Got in @ 330 pm with a glass off and clean up from out side shoulder - ++ sets of big fat crumblers . The clouds gave way to pure blue skies and warm sunshine. 50 -100 yards south, hollow overheads were seen and HEARD,
the kind sound that makes you tingle, air being forced thru and over the glassy water!
Jason, Dave and I,
got many waves with steep drops and long shoulder rides.
I haven't really had a "perma grin" like that in....
well in a year to the day.
Exactly one year ago I "rolled " out of the hospital,
after spending a month there in a state of near death.
One year ago today I came home.
One year ago I started out barely able to make a lap around my house with 3 bulb drains hanging out of my abdomen sucking vileness out of my body, a wound vac machine sucking equally horrid stuff from a gaping un-stichable, 12 cut in my abdomen.
I had a bag attached to my stomach to poo into.
I don't think I "believed" I would ever surf again, really.
I wanted to, and was determined to "achieve " this goal but,
I really didn't believe I would ever surf like I just did, again, in my life, ever.
Exactly one year ago, all there was was the most tiny spark of stoke left in my life.
Yesterday was MIRACULOUS actually ! !
I am forever grateful to ALL !
GOD, MOTHER OCEAN, Family and friends, all ! !

Speakin of STOKE

I am soooooo Stoked about Daylight Savings time coming this Sunday.
Sun is setting at 7 PM.
N O W I can take the board to work and get in 2 hours afterward
D A I L Y

Better than......(part deux)

OK now I'm back login' to last weekend.
Went out on Saturday( Jason's Birthday ) 2/28/09 and didn't get anything again. Jason was working and I was not feeling it. Went the following Sunday and ran into some folks I haven't been with in the water for awhile . It was very satisfying to paddle out and turn on the first outside set and get it on. Got some hoots and hollers( from some very fine Wahine's ) then paddled and got a few more. Was very fun. Just what an old, beat up dude needed.
Pat (in the Hat ) was there and that was the first time he's seen me get up real, since all the bullshit , so that was cool.
Below is Pat (in the Hat) in a victory at sea day,
last may......something I really look forward to doing with him again, if....nah...WHEN my body allows.

Better than...

<------Dave ( in glasses) and I

. Back log 2 Fridays back I was to meet my son after work for a sunset surf. I was late getting out of work and felt pressure to have a great surf. That always sets me up for failure. GREAT EXPECTATIONS.
I didn't get a single
(albeit, poor shape and conditions, LoL)
wave.
I just bobbed in the water beside myself with dissatisfaction. Unfortunately, my son was subjected to this behavior from me, however subtle my mood was.
I can count on a single hand the times I have felt like this in the water. That just doesn't happen, thankfully.
I am no doubt "changed" from the events of the year, both physically and spiritually. It is my mission to get back to as close to good as I can. I make progress and slide back as well in both areas. This is to be expected for me now. Steps forward and slides backwards. I guess this is the natural progression of things in my circunstance. I will say that I am pleased that my body is getting better, stronger, and responding to my challenges. I do it for my surfing, myself, but mostly for my wife Laurie, my son Jason, my other family and friends like Dave, Michelle, and Lori.
The next day I went out with Dave while my son went to work.
This next morning I stood on most every wave I wanted and had a very "normal" surf, which was GREAT ! ! I seem to get what I need right when I need it most. This keeps me goin on, keeps a little spark within my soul, something to stoke up.
It was good to move on the faces, get up without thinking about it.