I'm back @ work today,,,YES ? ? ? ?

After 8 months I going back this morning to work.
F/T no mercy.
It's an intense job in the laboratory. My boss is super INTENSE,
and he likes me the same way I guess.

I am not going that way this time around.

I'm going at my speed and intensity. I have learned a few things, thank you.
It is good to have a gig when you need one, that's for sure. I am grateful for that, but I am different now and that is that.

The one thing I am really looking forward to about going back to work after what I have been through is. . . . .
It drives me straight to the water for release and relief ! ! ! !

surf on....
I'll be there in awhile

So Bill...... What's new? Are you OK ?

I'm doing well, thanks. Things are progressing along. It seems very slowly to me but everyone else says I'm ahead of the game as far as rehab goes. Right now my abdominal incisions are preventing me from "popping up" on a wave right now, as in my last post. I haven't been "out" only the one time. I have been practicing "popping up" off the floor of the gym pool to better strengthen those muscles. So I am planning another attempt. I fear that I may have an abdominal tear so I am going very slowly on things that cause pain at that area... my former stoma ( exit ) site.
I wont update the blog until I go into the ocean. I AM getting my position back at work soon and this causes me both happiness, relief, and anxiety.

more to come as I make my way back to the ocean...

surf on....
I'll be there in awhile :)

My 1st paddle out in 7 months ... Ahhhhh

It has been a full 7 months since I was in the water.
Feb. 7th, 2008 I was a 225 session a year, intermediate surfer of 6 years, finally in half assed surfing shape, surfing with my son Jason and friends, as much as possible.
Feb. 8th, 2008 I had a disaster surgery that left me unable to move for 40 some days, almost leaving this world ( against my will ) 4 times in a 5 week period. During that time it was uncertain if I would live, let alone be able to return to ANY activities I once enjoyed, such as walking. I believe injury specifics are outlined in some of my previous posts below.

Yeah

Today, Sept. 2nd, 2008 Jason and I paddled out at about 645am into warm and very glassy, clear water, blue morning skies, sunshine, dead calm winds , It was beautiful. No problems paddling out. I was able to arch and paddle, and I was afraid that that wasn't going to be possible any longer. I tried to paddle into 4 waves and managed to get up to my knees on one of those, but could get no further. My abdominal wounds/scars said NOT YET ! ! ! This was actually more than I expected to be able to do, so I am STOKED.
I now know that once my abdominal wall and ab. muscles are back 100% I will continue to surf on, and on as long as I can. The paddle out today was really miraculous considering all.
I have the amazing stoke in my belly again burning. I know what will happen as soon as I stand.
Today I was in tears afterwards, it was so good. I was aching to get in the water and it was just so good. Thank you God and Mother Earth. Thank you Laurie, my love, for bringing me back to life. Thank you Jason for inspiring me. Thank you family and friends for keeping the faith, deliberately.

I am so thankful.....
post script
WED morning ( day after ) My arms hurt.... ALOT ! ! !
surf on...

Michael Phelps I'm NOT

It has been 4 weeks since my "reconnect" surgery and I am rehabbing. TO date this has consisted of walking and working a little bit in the pool.
Walking around the house for the first week home then gradually working up to about a 2 mile walk per day with a few hills.
My abdominal wound sealed up so0 for the last week I have been in the pool at the gym doing minimal resistance rehab. I have almost no abs AGAIN and the spot where my "bag" used to be on the abdomen is still sore from the surgery.
I actually did swim for about 5 yards today.
I have far to go. I will go and get there. I want to get on my board and paddle. I will do this this week.

For those who are curious, I can't report on my back until my abdomen is healed and strong for obvious reasons.


surf on.....

onward and upward

got outta the hospital in 6 days... the operation was successful and without incident or disaster. I'm going to have about 35 staples removed from my abdomen tomorrow.
Then I will start the down the road to recovery. I expect that road to be somewhat painful and difficult and take the challenge...personally.
I expect in a year I will be close to as whole as I'm gonna get. Maybe 2-5 years to be completely over it all.
I dream of walking on the water again. Digging deep into the clear blue green warmth. Breathing that air/water mixture and having it lite my insides on fire, on FIRE.
There is so much to love in this life and I do LOVE IT, all of you and all of IT.
HA

Eeeettts time to goooo now

Yes folks I'm going back to the hospital
to get my guts put back together this coming Tuesday 7/22/08.


I will walk outta there in 4 -6 days (5 days)
and get on with living,
getting back into the water and onto my board(s),
with my son and friends at my side and my wife swimming near by.
I will inspire her to learn to surf as well.
It has been almost 6 months since my disaster surgery,
and just now I am almost feeling normal.
I have been able to go to physical therapy for the last 3 weeks. The pool workout has been really great for me and I am just getting some upper body and core muscles going right now.I started that 5 months late because of all the complications.
My wife and son got me into the ocean for the first time since Feb. and man that was a pretty cosmic feeling.
Thanks for that you guys ! !

So keep a good thought for me as I want to join you all in the ocean very soon...

HOPE

Well it has been several months since I have surfed last. Luckily my last 2 surfs we're "un-forgettable" See below 2 posts down.
I have 2 more surgeries to go and a host of other issues but
I am HOPING I will be able to go out and paddle the 10'3" around in August-September, in the warm glass, the very WARM, SUNNY, windless day, with CLEAR, GLASSY, WARM, LIVING WATER, with DOLPHINS and MY SON, and MY FRIENDS...........
I hope

hope

50 stoke-less days as of FEB 8th 2008

At my last writing I was headed into a back surgery to fix unbearable sciatic pain in my left leg.

That surgery and what has followed was nothing short of HELL.

During the surgery my large intestine ruptured, leaking bacteria, fungus,yeast, and fecal matter into my abdominal cavity,causing 5 different infectional holds in my abdomen.
This was undetected for 5 days, except by myself and my wife.
After a day or two I should have been over the severe surgical pain, with normal bowel function, and getting up to stand and take short walks.
But I was in MORE pain.
I kept hitting the push button for more I.V. pain relieving dilaudid( morphine).
In fact, I remember being told, I hit that thing 75 times in a day.
( It will only deliver 1dose per half hour ).
They thought I was abusing it, when in fact the pain of the rupture and its consequences were simply un-bearable. As my belly ballooned out and turned purple, I mystified Physicians as a CAT scan at 3 days showed nothing abnormal. By this time my stomach began to bloat and turn purple. The pain was unbearable. I just stayed in a narcotic induced dreamstate.
Day 5 post surgery is when they saw the infections and rupture on CAT scan #2.
A gastroenterologiost told my wife I was in serious trouble and an emergency Colenectomy and "clean-out" of my abdomen would have to be done.

By the 5th day it became obvious to my ace team of physicians that something was wrong.

They sliced open my belly and removed a good portion of my large intestine. Sucked out as much of the bad as they could.
I was given a colostomy bag.
My stomach couldn't handle that stress and began bleeding.... another surgery.
As I lay motionless for some weeks I got a blood clot in my lungs
About a week after my first bleed out my stomach once again began to bleed out, another surgery.
All in all I had 5 surgeries and 3 major procedures.
I lay on my back for 40 days. I lost 40% of ALL of my muscle.
I have drains coming out of my side. I have a 10 inch wound that's almost healed on my stomach along with the colostomy bag.I am still taking 3 antibiotics.
I have to go back and have back hardware removed because of infection.
I have to go back to reverse the colostomy so I can poop outta my butt again.

I figure 2 more months and the worst will be over.
I am so happy to be alive and at home,
THIS IS MY S T O K E for right now,

Surf on all , surf on.... it will be another 6 months until I get out for a paddle, maybe less. Surf on for me and all fallen surfers.

PHAT Tuesday was P E R F E C T ! ! ! !

I have had this planned for weeks, Tues thru Thurs off from work.
Why.... ?
This Friday, Feb. 8th '08'
I'm going under the knife for a disc removal in my lower back (L4-L5)
This procedure will allow me to be free to walk and stand for more than 2 min at a time without anymore excruciating pain in my legs and back.
I needed a really great, recent surf day under my belt
before I went in for this ......
and I GOT IT in A C E S ! !
Jason, my son, and I arrived in at our spot @ 10 am.
Warm, clear, offshores, glassy shoulder to head high waves ...
We had it ALL ALONE to ourselves.
It was as EPIC as I've seen in, well , a looooong time.
We just got our 10'2" nose rider back after being in the shop for 4 weeks.
Big steep drops, long, long shoulders, FOREVER rides, (and I mean almost 100 yarders), something that just doesn't happen much ! ! WoW. We were just laughing and grinning from ear to ear the whole time, time after time ! !
I got tubed for real for the first time.
" FROG HOUSED" I yelled, as it happened, as my son went over the top and out of that wave just in front of me. LoL it was just amazing. Just as many waves as we wanted, unreal amazing stuff !
It was as perfect as I could hope for.....
I love surfing with my son Jason,This day is one I can hold onto, remember clearly, use to inspire myself to get up and back into the water after my back is repaired, ASAP.
I couldn't have asked for anything more perfect and timely, for that I am forever grateful.
I am ready for the surgery now, and ready get right back to doing what I love.
soon to Surf on........

WoW what a surprise ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

At 6am it was colder 'en sh*t and I'm kinda sore and slow and dopey. Thought. " nah, not gonna go.
Looked at Tammy on surfline and couldn't get a updated camera view...arrggghhh
( and I pay for that thing ).
Looked at Surfshot and voila, as I'm scanning the reports that follow down the coast I see
GOOD - GOOD- FAIR-FAIR-GOOD-GOOD etc. etc.

I think "go, go, go while you still can, you fool".
I go
and I GOT
ALOT
I GOT ALOT of great glassy shoulder-head high stuff.
My buddy and I had the whole spot to ourselves for 2.5 hours
PERFECTION ! ! ! ! ! ! oh yeah F R O G H O U S E ! !
woo hooooo hoooooooo !!!!!!
Bingo

Ah.... just what the Dr. Ordered

In @ 645 @ warmies. Now.... this isn't some awe struck newbies acct. The EIGHT WAVE SET that came through during my paddle out was shoulder to
over Head P I P E S ......peeling. It was beautiful but scary.
I GOT THROUGH THE PADDLE OUT WITH DRY HAIR...
AAAA MAAA ZZZZING.
My buddy Dave who started 5 minutes before me wasn't as lucky. I was outside for 10 minutes before he made it out. He got owned.
So
Things were good.... got a couple of drop in's then outs.
Not ideal, but I'm not getting pummeled , as I remembered the beach bombs that came through yesterday at the same time of day.
For a change, I aggressively thought about things as the line up took on a few more people, I saw a Peak to the south of every one where there was some shoulder to the right,
instead of the closeout scene where I was currently ( along with every one else ).
Paddled to it and wham...
Big steep drop then me dancing on a steep long barreling face with my slick Classic. Now the classic has issues. Doesn't like slow fatties, its gotta have some serious push,then speed to lighten up and perform. Today was the perfect day for that board. Many great waves and rides later I was teeth from ear to ear. It really seemed I could do no wrong.
It's like I got ALL the WAVES O THE DAY. It was awesome
and I so needed that !! Why did I need it so badly? Next issue !
F R E A K I N' A W E S O M E.
Thank you God for the skill and grace to do this, on this one day !
surf on...

Yesterday was ....different ,good, but different

Sat am I was expecting semi epic conditions. Got in @ 645 and got 2 keepers right away.
Beefy outsiders, kinda slow and deep in the morning glass. Offered up some great face until the close out. I recall "almost" making the last section but not quite, if I had made it that would have qualified for an epic ride. Got a few more, but as the tide rose(fast) things shut off quick, except for some truly thundering beach walls towards warm waters. That scene was not my game yesterday, its been 12 days since my last session and I'm just about over the flu coughing thing.
As I write,I'm preparing for today's DP, and as usual, am filled with stoke and hope.

Surf on...

WeekEnd update. Back in the saddle again

Saturday was... well OK. I hadn't been in the water for 2 weeks.
Which is way too long.
Got a few waves but nothing particularly memorable.
Sunday panned out way better.
Glassy and some waves as I stood on the cliff @ 7am DP
What was amazing is that Saturday saw 25 people in the water by the time I exited 10am.
SUNDAY, I WAS ALL ALONE as far as the eye could see. Because of that fact I paddled south to Igor's reef, all ALONE. Immediately caught about 4 waves breaking outside in the SUN and Glass, beautiful. All I could figure is Saturday was such a disappointment that every one just stayed out. As I surfed I was amazed at the utter solitude, except for seals and dolphins. After an hour, I saw 1 person in at Terra Mar. That person was doing the hundred yard paddle towards Igor's and myself. Oh well, I continued to get waves. When the surfer reached me, I recognized him to be my #1 surf buddy. COOL
We surfed for another hour all alone for as far as we could see. Loooooong rights and lefts. Beautiful Glassy, sunny, aloneness in head high peaks with long bowling chest high shoulders....... AWESOME..... nice way to break a 2 week surf fast.

surf on

Saturday Fun @ Tamarack South Jetty

DP today was good. As I drove by T a Rack I saw some nice stuff breaking and only 2 guys there. Continued south to Terra mar and met up with my buddy Dave. I suggested going back up north to T a Rack
( doing what I said I would do, and surfing different spots.)
Man, when we pulled up, some sweet sets were coming thru.
Got 2 or 3 real head high takeoffs with some real PUSH to them, and some long shoulder, so did Dave.
I did my one obligatory FUBAR- kook- out, on a way late takeoff , but thankfully turned right around a grabbed a couple more keepers.
This spot has been a major psych out for me, as 3 years ago I got caught where
I had NO business to be. I had none of that hanging over me today. I'm over it, finally !
The rising tide finally began to swallow the PUSH and them the shorties came out to play.
Spent 1 1/2 hours there then David had to bail. I made a good call on that one :)
Sooooo I headed back south to home break and paddled out for some more. The waves just weren't there though. Still managed a couple insiders and had great fun with some friends in the bright sun and glass..
A nice 4 hour session in total. Got home and paid the price for taking 3 days off without my wife, then disappearing for 4 hours this morning. I have some balancing to do......
p.s. I have seen pictures of myself surfing with my mouth open as if I'm saying ooooo and David commented on it today LoL.
1)I will attempt to shut the piehole,
2)stand to the rear of the board more, when appropriate, and
3)continue to surf at varied breaks......

surf on....

Friday Dawn patrol

Got out @ 7am. Very cold air, very cold. Hung out in the truck with the heater on reluctant to put on the wet cold suit. As I sat I saw that Warm Waters Jetty was breaking with some peely right shoulders, although small. It actually looked pretty fun and only 3 were out.
Very glassy where it was breaking and the tide on the rise from 3 ft. up to 5ft.@10am.
Put that wet cold sucker on and headed out.
My first ride was pretty good. I have only surfed that wave 3 times. I felt good about going to a different spot ( classic short board spot ), none of the usual munchkins were there.
Got a few more fun rides in the 2 hours out there. The tide was rising fast and killing my spot equally as fast.
Stoked to get glass, clear skies, and a few rides.
I have realized that when I surf my best still depends largely on where I'm surfing and on which board I'm on. I know my confidence is way higher @ Terra Mar home break.
I am deliberately going to force myself into more spots to broaden my surfing abilities.
I see now that it is important to becoming the surfer I want to be.
Im also going to try hanging back more to the rear of the board instead of taking my Tahitian war dance stance in the middle of the board all the time.
So much to learn. So much to try. I'm glad for that. Longboarding is a very intricate thing, I'm stoked on that as well !

surf on...

Wed Sunshine and Glassyness

Went out @ 12noon looking at offshore conditions and pure swimming pool glass.
Immediately decided to make the 100 yard paddle to Igor's reef as it was the only thing breaking really.
Water was reasonably clear considering the weather last week and it was cool. Sun was warm.
I really wanted to get some good waves but there just wasn't much power or form , which led me right down the kook road. I managed a few OK rides but many more kook outs. That Igor's wave at the yellow houses can be a real challenge, especially when its smaller.

Going out on a DP in the morning.... we'll see.

surf on...

Sunday was C O O L

Got out early on the DP and was treated to off shores , glass and bright blue skies. It was a littletidey so the beach break 'tween Warmies and Terra Mar was my call. Got a couple, then the spot" got a little crowded very fast.
Soo I paddled south to T Mar and got maybe 6more, 3 of those were really nice, glassy walls allowing me to make some speed filled turns.

Got my fill all alone......ahhhhhhhh.

Got out and up to the cliff and after 2 min in the truck towards home I was amazed to see the foothills totally dusted out in snow..... beautiful.

Surfing and snow ........ awesome, I love it ! ! !

surf on....

2nd day of 1st winter biggy Almost Magaine Cover

Day 2 of swell.... "Almost Magazine" picks me for the Cover shoot.
It was BIGGER, maybe twice the size of day one. I figure it was a 4 tier soup bowl. The waves were outside that and coming in sets of 5-10 waves with a clean-up of 2 in each set.
Well I guess I didn't pass this test. Suited up @ 350pm. Saw my friend Pat, he was trying to get out. Against my better judgement of paddle out spots, (small rip down @ palms) I chose going out close to a buddy( the buddy thing was a good choice).
I paddled for what seemed like 30 min. and got to within one wave of outside. I simply ran out of breath and strength at the worst time. I just couldn't hang, and turned. Pat made it outside. 5min. later there was a lull. I didn't make it long enough to catch that lull. I was so close.
I took this really hard.
Gonna fix some personal habits.
Gonna cross train for cardiopulmonary.

Hell I'm stoked I went at least, better than not for sure.
There's only one choice for me,
surf on...

1st day of 1st winter biggy

Well.... with what seemed to be
the whole world joined in a conspiracy to keep me outta the water,
I made it.
Cried like a little girl to get out of work @ 3:15.
Jason and I got in the water @ 3:50
Wave sets rollin' in.
Some nice steep drops, big fat swell under the feet, great weather, niiiiiiiiice.
Had to get out 45 min later to go to a show with wifey.
It was the best 45 min I've had in awhile, oh the show was good too !
My son got a killer right, and steeeeep drops.
I think I rode 5 waves in those 45 min. but the heart was pumpin and smile was out.
Good 1st day.
tomorrow.......
surf on...

Im ready

12/21/2005 TerraMar

I've been going out 200+ sessions each year for 2 years since Big Wed. 12/21/2005 for a reason.
That reason is because during that swell, I couldn't even get outside on the paddle out.
I am 51 years old. I have been surfing for 6 years now. The first 3 years of that I don't even count as "surfing", as I only went out maybe 20 times a year.
I'm never going to be like I was @ 25-35 years old. I will never have that level of strength and endurance again.
BUT I have significantly improved my paddle power and surfing intelligence since 12/21/05, and I'm really hoping I can get a chance to try myself out in the face of what was once way above my limit.

I hope
We will see.
Surf on......
P.S. as I am typing this the news reports a seasoned kayaker spotted a 25 foot shark in La Jolla cove today, probably just a ploy top scare everybody out of the upcoming swell... GULP