May you all feel it..

Goodwill towards man

Thanks for Heaven and Earth

Happy holidays to all

surf on...

Would you say it calls to you ? ?

It does to me. The ocean calls to me. I've heard others say it in print, on screen and in person.
Isn't that way cool. That the Ocean calls to us in the way it does.
Sounds screwy right ?
No.
Jason was hearing it. A favorite photo from Big Wed 12/21/05
P.S. My bad... that photo is from 12/21/05...........
hmm first day of Winter too !
It was on that day that I knew I wanted to be on a 15-20 foot wave...,
that changed who I was. It was that day that I became so permanently stoked
...

Winter Waves Today

After hearing all that talk of Gray and cold I went out this morning. Put on the suit for the first time. Cold water and air felt good. Saw Chuck and Dan get some sweet ones from outside in.
Paddled out no problems.
Paddled for about 5 waves with my friends, but the abdominal wounds were yelling at me so no stand ups today.
People were askin about my son Jason and I was missin' him out there today.
Still got stoked as some shoulder highs came through.
Good Day... no pain right now, just afterglow. I figure it'll be about a year
until I can actually "surf" again. Hell...... that's a blink of an eye really, the way time has been going for me.
I'm a HAPPY BOY...I'm a HAPPY BOY.... hey init great when things are going yer way
hey hey.......ba.. rump bump bump bada bada ba, hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba.

surf on...

WoW Just beautiful... All my friends were out

Despite 60 people spread between the beach and the reef proper... today my experience was incredible.
Didn't stand up once. Too many freakin people for my battered body to compete with.
Did see folks I haven't seen in.... well since the Disaster ( surgery).
Rick ( the drunk monkey ), Glen ( has chunks of guys like me in his stool)
Ted( hair is still perfect and dry), Paul, Paul ( snake guy), Steve,
Pat (in the Hat), Aleta, Perry, Bobby, it was like a welcome home party for me.
Solitary, lone wolf me, saying howdy and getting welcome backs from all these fine surfers.
Pure glass, sunny,clear,warm, bros and the fine wahinis', PERFECT

thank you all....... ALL of ya

surf on ...

It has been 14 days since...

I got worked 2 weeks ago..... my abdominal scarring was micro torn and something crappy happened to the mess S-1,L-5,L-4,L-3 (rods, screws,misplaced plastic spacers and erroneous bone fusion) that is now my back, when I was pitched off a closed out 4 footer 0n the inside.
Very disappointing that just THAT has hurt so long.....

I continue to dream of dropping down a 15 footer in my life.
If I think of it a certain way I cry. If I think that this will not happen now because of this botched up surgery and all that has come to pass, I get very sad and very pissed !
This is my dream, this is my passion, this is what I must try to achieve.
I will find my way to it, I will find my way there !

I intend to paddle out this Saturday and stand again.
I will surf on...

Got worked , yep, I did

So out into the sunny warmth, and glassy blue for another try...
I head out with my son
and run into Eileen (tri~athelete and ex work surf team member)
which was a pleasant surprise.
Stood up and RODE the first wave.... nice
Stood up and fell on the second wave.... cool
(only was able to stand once at last time out)
Stood up, got closed out and got Bitch Slapped HARD
I knew that was gonna happen and I have wondered how it
might affect me and my "issues".
Well It HURT and I haven't been back for 4 days .....
I figure I'll be ready for more in about 4 more.....

Everyday is better and better even if its worse as a result of things like the above..
make sense ! ?

After 8 months of a whole lotta Bad, I stand up and surf.

Last night under a clear, blue and purple canopy, bright orange sun sinking below the water line, with my son and 2 best friends with me, and watching over me in the line up, I paddled through the glass in only my trunks, caught a wave and stood up.
It was hard.
It hurt.
But not as much as my last 2 attempts. In fact it hurts no more, at all as I write.
My friends Pat and Dave, and my son Jason, were as stoked as I.
There were some A frames and peelers there last night and all got good waves.

Before my surgery( 8 months ago), Pat used to sometimes ask,
as we sat outside in the setting sun
"Bill, what the HELL are you grinning like that for?"
(some of my best sessions were with no waves at all... just the ocean, weather, and friends, you know, the sensual stuff)

Last night, all he said was,"There's that SMILE again !".
At that moment I realized that I could return to what I once loved, that it is actually possible.

Thank you Laurie for understanding, supporting, and loving me.
Thank you Jason for inspiring me, I love you for that son, and more.
Thank you Lori M. and Michelle for your endless support of myself and Laurie.
Thank you Pat and Dave for ALWAYS being there.
Thanks fellow bloggers and surfers for your well wishes and inspirations.
Thank you God and Mother Ocean !
Surf on..............I'm in.

Tried to POP ...but only POOPED

Went out Wed.Pm after work for a trunks and sunset try. Weather and water were beautiful but I could not yet pop to my feet. Still loved being in the OCean but..
Try again next week.....

ANOTHER GIANT BOWL OF
PATIENCE
PLEASE ! !

surf on...
I'm going to be there soon ! ! ! $#%@##@$% ing #$@%

Work IS good for SURFING ? ?

Well blow me down. After 8 months out of the water and work, it seems my 1st week back at work has helped strengthen my core and abdomen a little. After my pool rehab session today I feel the best yet. I was popping up off the pool floor, jumping off the pool floor, and launching off the side of that pool with virtually No incisional discomfort. SLOW and STEADY will WIN this race.
I now believe I will not only be able to paddle out again but,
WILL STAND AND SURF some time in the next 2-4 weeks. I thought for sure I had herniated or torn my abdominal wall around one of my incisions, I now believe otherwise.
I still intend to listen very carefully to my poor old body and let it tell me what to do but in the same light my body is responding to my efforts almost daily SO ........... keep a good thought and soon I should be back in action
surf on.....
I'll be there soon ! !

I'm back @ work today,,,YES ? ? ? ?

After 8 months I going back this morning to work.
F/T no mercy.
It's an intense job in the laboratory. My boss is super INTENSE,
and he likes me the same way I guess.

I am not going that way this time around.

I'm going at my speed and intensity. I have learned a few things, thank you.
It is good to have a gig when you need one, that's for sure. I am grateful for that, but I am different now and that is that.

The one thing I am really looking forward to about going back to work after what I have been through is. . . . .
It drives me straight to the water for release and relief ! ! ! !

surf on....
I'll be there in awhile

So Bill...... What's new? Are you OK ?

I'm doing well, thanks. Things are progressing along. It seems very slowly to me but everyone else says I'm ahead of the game as far as rehab goes. Right now my abdominal incisions are preventing me from "popping up" on a wave right now, as in my last post. I haven't been "out" only the one time. I have been practicing "popping up" off the floor of the gym pool to better strengthen those muscles. So I am planning another attempt. I fear that I may have an abdominal tear so I am going very slowly on things that cause pain at that area... my former stoma ( exit ) site.
I wont update the blog until I go into the ocean. I AM getting my position back at work soon and this causes me both happiness, relief, and anxiety.

more to come as I make my way back to the ocean...

surf on....
I'll be there in awhile :)

My 1st paddle out in 7 months ... Ahhhhh

It has been a full 7 months since I was in the water.
Feb. 7th, 2008 I was a 225 session a year, intermediate surfer of 6 years, finally in half assed surfing shape, surfing with my son Jason and friends, as much as possible.
Feb. 8th, 2008 I had a disaster surgery that left me unable to move for 40 some days, almost leaving this world ( against my will ) 4 times in a 5 week period. During that time it was uncertain if I would live, let alone be able to return to ANY activities I once enjoyed, such as walking. I believe injury specifics are outlined in some of my previous posts below.

Yeah

Today, Sept. 2nd, 2008 Jason and I paddled out at about 645am into warm and very glassy, clear water, blue morning skies, sunshine, dead calm winds , It was beautiful. No problems paddling out. I was able to arch and paddle, and I was afraid that that wasn't going to be possible any longer. I tried to paddle into 4 waves and managed to get up to my knees on one of those, but could get no further. My abdominal wounds/scars said NOT YET ! ! ! This was actually more than I expected to be able to do, so I am STOKED.
I now know that once my abdominal wall and ab. muscles are back 100% I will continue to surf on, and on as long as I can. The paddle out today was really miraculous considering all.
I have the amazing stoke in my belly again burning. I know what will happen as soon as I stand.
Today I was in tears afterwards, it was so good. I was aching to get in the water and it was just so good. Thank you God and Mother Earth. Thank you Laurie, my love, for bringing me back to life. Thank you Jason for inspiring me. Thank you family and friends for keeping the faith, deliberately.

I am so thankful.....
post script
WED morning ( day after ) My arms hurt.... ALOT ! ! !
surf on...

Michael Phelps I'm NOT

It has been 4 weeks since my "reconnect" surgery and I am rehabbing. TO date this has consisted of walking and working a little bit in the pool.
Walking around the house for the first week home then gradually working up to about a 2 mile walk per day with a few hills.
My abdominal wound sealed up so0 for the last week I have been in the pool at the gym doing minimal resistance rehab. I have almost no abs AGAIN and the spot where my "bag" used to be on the abdomen is still sore from the surgery.
I actually did swim for about 5 yards today.
I have far to go. I will go and get there. I want to get on my board and paddle. I will do this this week.

For those who are curious, I can't report on my back until my abdomen is healed and strong for obvious reasons.


surf on.....

onward and upward

got outta the hospital in 6 days... the operation was successful and without incident or disaster. I'm going to have about 35 staples removed from my abdomen tomorrow.
Then I will start the down the road to recovery. I expect that road to be somewhat painful and difficult and take the challenge...personally.
I expect in a year I will be close to as whole as I'm gonna get. Maybe 2-5 years to be completely over it all.
I dream of walking on the water again. Digging deep into the clear blue green warmth. Breathing that air/water mixture and having it lite my insides on fire, on FIRE.
There is so much to love in this life and I do LOVE IT, all of you and all of IT.
HA

Eeeettts time to goooo now

Yes folks I'm going back to the hospital
to get my guts put back together this coming Tuesday 7/22/08.


I will walk outta there in 4 -6 days (5 days)
and get on with living,
getting back into the water and onto my board(s),
with my son and friends at my side and my wife swimming near by.
I will inspire her to learn to surf as well.
It has been almost 6 months since my disaster surgery,
and just now I am almost feeling normal.
I have been able to go to physical therapy for the last 3 weeks. The pool workout has been really great for me and I am just getting some upper body and core muscles going right now.I started that 5 months late because of all the complications.
My wife and son got me into the ocean for the first time since Feb. and man that was a pretty cosmic feeling.
Thanks for that you guys ! !

So keep a good thought for me as I want to join you all in the ocean very soon...

HOPE

Well it has been several months since I have surfed last. Luckily my last 2 surfs we're "un-forgettable" See below 2 posts down.
I have 2 more surgeries to go and a host of other issues but
I am HOPING I will be able to go out and paddle the 10'3" around in August-September, in the warm glass, the very WARM, SUNNY, windless day, with CLEAR, GLASSY, WARM, LIVING WATER, with DOLPHINS and MY SON, and MY FRIENDS...........
I hope

hope

50 stoke-less days as of FEB 8th 2008

At my last writing I was headed into a back surgery to fix unbearable sciatic pain in my left leg.

That surgery and what has followed was nothing short of HELL.

During the surgery my large intestine ruptured, leaking bacteria, fungus,yeast, and fecal matter into my abdominal cavity,causing 5 different infectional holds in my abdomen.
This was undetected for 5 days, except by myself and my wife.
After a day or two I should have been over the severe surgical pain, with normal bowel function, and getting up to stand and take short walks.
But I was in MORE pain.
I kept hitting the push button for more I.V. pain relieving dilaudid( morphine).
In fact, I remember being told, I hit that thing 75 times in a day.
( It will only deliver 1dose per half hour ).
They thought I was abusing it, when in fact the pain of the rupture and its consequences were simply un-bearable. As my belly ballooned out and turned purple, I mystified Physicians as a CAT scan at 3 days showed nothing abnormal. By this time my stomach began to bloat and turn purple. The pain was unbearable. I just stayed in a narcotic induced dreamstate.
Day 5 post surgery is when they saw the infections and rupture on CAT scan #2.
A gastroenterologiost told my wife I was in serious trouble and an emergency Colenectomy and "clean-out" of my abdomen would have to be done.

By the 5th day it became obvious to my ace team of physicians that something was wrong.

They sliced open my belly and removed a good portion of my large intestine. Sucked out as much of the bad as they could.
I was given a colostomy bag.
My stomach couldn't handle that stress and began bleeding.... another surgery.
As I lay motionless for some weeks I got a blood clot in my lungs
About a week after my first bleed out my stomach once again began to bleed out, another surgery.
All in all I had 5 surgeries and 3 major procedures.
I lay on my back for 40 days. I lost 40% of ALL of my muscle.
I have drains coming out of my side. I have a 10 inch wound that's almost healed on my stomach along with the colostomy bag.I am still taking 3 antibiotics.
I have to go back and have back hardware removed because of infection.
I have to go back to reverse the colostomy so I can poop outta my butt again.

I figure 2 more months and the worst will be over.
I am so happy to be alive and at home,
THIS IS MY S T O K E for right now,

Surf on all , surf on.... it will be another 6 months until I get out for a paddle, maybe less. Surf on for me and all fallen surfers.

PHAT Tuesday was P E R F E C T ! ! ! !

I have had this planned for weeks, Tues thru Thurs off from work.
Why.... ?
This Friday, Feb. 8th '08'
I'm going under the knife for a disc removal in my lower back (L4-L5)
This procedure will allow me to be free to walk and stand for more than 2 min at a time without anymore excruciating pain in my legs and back.
I needed a really great, recent surf day under my belt
before I went in for this ......
and I GOT IT in A C E S ! !
Jason, my son, and I arrived in at our spot @ 10 am.
Warm, clear, offshores, glassy shoulder to head high waves ...
We had it ALL ALONE to ourselves.
It was as EPIC as I've seen in, well , a looooong time.
We just got our 10'2" nose rider back after being in the shop for 4 weeks.
Big steep drops, long, long shoulders, FOREVER rides, (and I mean almost 100 yarders), something that just doesn't happen much ! ! WoW. We were just laughing and grinning from ear to ear the whole time, time after time ! !
I got tubed for real for the first time.
" FROG HOUSED" I yelled, as it happened, as my son went over the top and out of that wave just in front of me. LoL it was just amazing. Just as many waves as we wanted, unreal amazing stuff !
It was as perfect as I could hope for.....
I love surfing with my son Jason,This day is one I can hold onto, remember clearly, use to inspire myself to get up and back into the water after my back is repaired, ASAP.
I couldn't have asked for anything more perfect and timely, for that I am forever grateful.
I am ready for the surgery now, and ready get right back to doing what I love.
soon to Surf on........

WoW what a surprise ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

At 6am it was colder 'en sh*t and I'm kinda sore and slow and dopey. Thought. " nah, not gonna go.
Looked at Tammy on surfline and couldn't get a updated camera view...arrggghhh
( and I pay for that thing ).
Looked at Surfshot and voila, as I'm scanning the reports that follow down the coast I see
GOOD - GOOD- FAIR-FAIR-GOOD-GOOD etc. etc.

I think "go, go, go while you still can, you fool".
I go
and I GOT
ALOT
I GOT ALOT of great glassy shoulder-head high stuff.
My buddy and I had the whole spot to ourselves for 2.5 hours
PERFECTION ! ! ! ! ! ! oh yeah F R O G H O U S E ! !
woo hooooo hoooooooo !!!!!!
Bingo

Ah.... just what the Dr. Ordered

In @ 645 @ warmies. Now.... this isn't some awe struck newbies acct. The EIGHT WAVE SET that came through during my paddle out was shoulder to
over Head P I P E S ......peeling. It was beautiful but scary.
I GOT THROUGH THE PADDLE OUT WITH DRY HAIR...
AAAA MAAA ZZZZING.
My buddy Dave who started 5 minutes before me wasn't as lucky. I was outside for 10 minutes before he made it out. He got owned.
So
Things were good.... got a couple of drop in's then outs.
Not ideal, but I'm not getting pummeled , as I remembered the beach bombs that came through yesterday at the same time of day.
For a change, I aggressively thought about things as the line up took on a few more people, I saw a Peak to the south of every one where there was some shoulder to the right,
instead of the closeout scene where I was currently ( along with every one else ).
Paddled to it and wham...
Big steep drop then me dancing on a steep long barreling face with my slick Classic. Now the classic has issues. Doesn't like slow fatties, its gotta have some serious push,then speed to lighten up and perform. Today was the perfect day for that board. Many great waves and rides later I was teeth from ear to ear. It really seemed I could do no wrong.
It's like I got ALL the WAVES O THE DAY. It was awesome
and I so needed that !! Why did I need it so badly? Next issue !
F R E A K I N' A W E S O M E.
Thank you God for the skill and grace to do this, on this one day !
surf on...

Yesterday was ....different ,good, but different

Sat am I was expecting semi epic conditions. Got in @ 645 and got 2 keepers right away.
Beefy outsiders, kinda slow and deep in the morning glass. Offered up some great face until the close out. I recall "almost" making the last section but not quite, if I had made it that would have qualified for an epic ride. Got a few more, but as the tide rose(fast) things shut off quick, except for some truly thundering beach walls towards warm waters. That scene was not my game yesterday, its been 12 days since my last session and I'm just about over the flu coughing thing.
As I write,I'm preparing for today's DP, and as usual, am filled with stoke and hope.

Surf on...